Lara De Ann

I Want Money to Love Me

I want MONEY to love me
me, the small me
that lets MONEY tower over her
like a sonic boom from a rocket
making its way out of this atmosphere
into one far away from this earth.
It feels this way,
That it has been running from me
That I would need to chase it to Pluto,
far away and cold.
I wish it were right here,
I wish it loved to sip tea with me
And that it felt like cozy slippers
That loved to cradle my feet in warm, cushioned bliss
Why can’t it love me?
Not just love me, but LOVE me
Adore me, cherish me, be devoted to my every whim
I wish Money was my father and my mother,
Taking care of me forever,
forever feeding me with a smooth spoon
nourishing and praising my existence
as its Loved child that can do no wrong.
But somehow I have done money wrong,
I have folded it without matching its ends together neatly
I have put it into a wallet without facing it in the right direction,
I have washed my hands after touching it,
As if telling it that it is dirty.
I have felt dismal when I gave it away
Instead of bidding it bon voyage
And hoping it would enjoy its next adventure
I’ve stashed it under beds, in between old, yellowed books
Crammed it into pockets, put it in my shoes
Seldom did I let it see the light of day,
Never taking care to press it straight and
Let it sit on my windowsill
To hear birds singing praise to it.
Instead, I associated it with asthma
And held my breath while thinking of it,
I blamed it for causing back pain
Not feeling supported by it.
I wish MoNeY loved me
And wanted to Play with me
The way I like to play
Causing me abundant belly laughs
That bless my entire day.
I wish it sang to me every moment
And gave me everything
Like a new lover
That pours out so much love
That I am no longer capable of walking on the ground,
But instead soar with new wings of freedom
Gliding on the air
As if my every inhale and exhale
were the currency of ecstasy
that I could share with the world
just by breathing.
I wished Money Loved me.

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