Missing You

I thought you were real

I thought you were “the one”

I thought my day began and ended with you

I felt a connection to you

That surpassed so many other connections

And then the wind came

It blew my hair into a spin

For a moment my vision blurred

And when I cleared my space to look again

You were gone

And with you went my heart.

Despair, disappointment, sorrow and hope

Became my bedfellows

Taking turns consuming my mind

I managed some positive affirmation

To try to find some better feeling ground

But it was whip cream on top of trash

How could life spin me ‘round again

How could I be given

What I thought was the gift of a lifetime

Only for it to be taken away

But you tell me I never had it

That no one has anything

That for a moment we experience something

And there are no guarantees

This love that feels so good

But can cause so much pain

For a moment there, I wished I had never met you

Then I would have been spared the pain of you leaving

Just yesterday I was the apple pie of your eye

And today you prefer coffee.

I am done

No more.

I will never again allow my heart

To be like a rag dolly

Pushed and pulled and toyed with

My emotions taken so lightly

My depth squashed onto a shallow shore

Unable to express its love

Too painful….

Your “Hi Sweetie”

Turned into “Hi there”

You long lovely see-you-later

Turned into short goodbyes.

You tell me to be in the gift of the present

To let go of the past

But I liked the past

And feel uncomfortable in our present moments

Not knowing where to place my arms

Where they were always placed around you

Now they awkwardly dangle at my side

And my heart goes unfulfilled.

I don’t want this one sided love

That is now looking elsewhere to amuse itself.

Freedom is the lesson here

To set you free as you desire

So I have no place in your life, really

For my freedom was the soaring I felt

When your heart wrapped around mine.

I am counseled to understand where you are

You just came from another relationship

And I was your short transition

Into a new life

So keep this short

And say goodbye.