I Wish

I wish I knew

That you were my star

Shining with me.

I wish I knew

That our hearts made music

In between the beats

When we stopped to listen.

I wish I had pitter patter in my pulse

Excited each day to see you.

I wish I knew

That I desired to wake up to you each morning.


What I do know

Is that the wind blows

It blows away the tangles in my head

That needed clearing

That the water running in the river

Is washing clean

The debris that had washed upon my shore

I know that it has now put the boat back in

And threw away its oars

I know that the sun will shine

When it stops raining inside of me

I know that it will stop.

I know that your hand placed in mine is warm.

I know that the smile on your face

Leads to a heart that is also smiling

I know that when you give

There are no hidden strings attached

I know you are pure

And only mean well.

I know you care about me

Beyond what I’ve ever experienced

And that you are stable

Like a four legged steel table.

I know that your eyes tell the truth

And give the secrets in your heart exposure.

I know that you will surprise me with even more

And I will be amazed at the continuing abundance.

I wish I knew that I could receive all of that now.

But, I don’t.

I know I will pry my fingers open

And let go of what I was carrying

that no longer serves

This, I know.