Steep Journey

Turning ‘round to face Mecca –

not the one in the Middle East,

the one east of me, in the Coachella Valley of California.

Sort of screwed up by my lack of spontaneous travel nowadays,

making stories of others’ adventures enough for me

as I sit in my arm chair…

…You were my Adventure –

my mountain climb during an avalanche

my skydive without functional parachute.

I hit ground

and lost my face.

Lost also my sense of reasoning

of what makes sense and what makes me crazy,

switched the two in my mind,

made normal become sick and sick become normal.

I tossed, and turned, like a bean in a salad

like a pillow fight all night long.

My head not finding rest

my mind a sponge to anything screaming peace.

But the act of screaming silenced any chance for serenity

and created You and Me

in between known and unknown,

yearning and turning back

going forward to fast,

while never yet beginning.

You had me like this.

I was at once the Stop Sign and the Go.

As confused as a two-headed snake

succumbing to temptation

and becoming a bad Buddhist

with no ability to detach.

You made me this.

And I allowed it.

Became the crazy lady people might have thought I was.

like a mad scientist,

but neither scientific nor mad.

I was, instead, madly-in-love

with a phantom that only existed in my mind.

I made you this.

And you made me this.

And we existed in time somewhere,

but we were always late to arrive

never got to our intended destination

which was supposed to be Love.

Now “Forgiveness” becomes the word I hear

in between my breaths, chants and prayers…

“Forgiveness,” when it used to be the words “I Love You”

reverberating in my head.

Now “Love” becomes Let Go, Detach and Forgive.

Sounds like a romance to me….